Why is this happening?
Why is there a feeling of being lost at all? What is it connected with? Why once in the past it was not there, there was drive and aspirations, and now — nothing?
Most often, such conditions occur at a time when most of the scenarios laid down by society have been implemented. One left behind studies at college, a career was built and a family was created, a house was purchased, that is, most of the tasks set by society “guaranteeing” happiness were fulfilled. But one day one realizes that he does not have the expected level of happiness and doesn’t know what to do next. The plot, written for him by other people, is realized, but there’s no new plot. Boom! There is a crisis. Personality crisis, search for oneself, reassessment of values. If one was somehow connected with psychology or self-help, this process can be less painful. Otherwise, it can be very, very difficult.
Imagine that you were given a map and told that once you have covered the entire route, great happiness awaits you at the end of the path. And so you drive, drive, sometimes all night long, wanting to get closer to your destination as soon as possible. You feel enthusiasm and anticipation. Finally, your GPS informs you in a pleasant voice that you are arriving at the specified address. You brake the car, jump out of it, lift your head up, breathe in the air deeply and… feel nothing.
The expectation of the best in you bursts like a soap bubble, and you stop understanding what is happening and why it happened. The situation aggravated by the fact that you saw many photographs of other people from this very palace, who wrote that they were on the top, happiness came and the like. “What is wrong with me? Why did everyone succeed but I didn’t?” — the questions arise. “Why did I do everything that was required of me, but it’s empty inside?”
Much the same happens in life when there is a feeling of being lost. And there are several reasons for this.
Why is there a feeling of being lost?
1. Alien scripts
When you do not question yourself and do not try to understand what you, only you, want in life, your life follows other people’s scenarios, which may be favourable for someone, but are not acceptable for everyone. If with each completed point of this plan you do not begin to feel that you are getting closer to unleashing your inner potential and the life of your dreams, most probably, you have fallen into the trap of alien scripts.
2. Expectations of happiness from the outside.
I’ll feel happy when… This is approximately how the thoughts of many people sound. The conditions for finding happiness can be different, but, as a rule, they are associated with receiving or obtaining something. I will be happy when I start earning twice as much… I will be happy when I buy an apartment… I will be happy when I get a promotion… I will be happy when I meet my soulmate and so on and on. But the sad news is it doesn’t work.
3. Social network
I find it unnecessary to say that social networks have a negative impact on our lives, numerous sociological studies have proven the same. A polished life on Instagram or Facebook is the reason for negative, often depressive moods in people following such fairy tales. Unconsciously, we constantly compare ourselves with others, and if the lifestyle accounts that sell a certain lifestyle through beautiful, happy photos serve as a model for comparison, we will be filled with discontent and negativity. Because we do not hold out and we need to try harder to take after them.
4. Lack of understanding of yourself and your life values.
Let’s be honest. We grow up without knowing ourselves at all. We rarely ask any questions. They only arise when something goes wrong. Often these questions are “Why did this happen to me?” or “Why do I deserve all this?” But these are not the questions that you need to learn to ask yourself if you want to sort out your life and get out of the crisis. Understanding yourself is an essential condition for gaining your life’s meaning.
5. Lack of a plan and a vision for your life.
One of the most prevalent reasons for feeling lost is the lack of vision of your life and, as a result, the lack of an action plan. When old routes are completed and new ones have not yet been laid, it is totally normal to feel disoriented. You are standing in the middle of the field and have no clues where to go next. You are lost and there is no road
If there is no plan or blueprint for life, over time there is a feeling of senseless walking in a circle. To get out of this state, you have to look deep down inside and find your purpose. Everyone has it but too few guess about it.
For these reasons, we wake up one morning and realize that we can’t keep in this way. Something needs to be changed.
What can you do to overcome the feeling of being lost?
- Stop waiting for answers from others.
- Take responsibility for yourself and your life.
- Determine your purposes and internal “why”.
- Find out your values
- Gradually start changing your life to include activities that are important to you.
- Unsubscribe from all “motivating” profiles leading to an unpleasant aftertaste upon viewing them. If possible, reduce the time on social networks, at least temporarily.
What happens when stop living by inertia?
I really want to write that a fairy tale begins and you will immediately start living a life full of harmony and “aromas”. Unfortunately or fortunately, this doesn’t happen. The road to yourself, to self-realization, to harmony and fulfillment is a path, not a destination. This is a new way of life, not a “when…” state. In some ways, life becomes more difficult because you begin to see the connection between your actions and the results you get in life. And not for all the results you want to be responsible, but the new level of awareness no longer allows you to blame someone else.
In some ways, life becomes easier. Because knowing your ‘why’, your interests, aspirations and dreams takes your life in the right direction. When you understand your ‘want’s, you either move towards them or choose safe idleness realizing that this is only your choice. And the consequences of this choice are also up to you.
You start living by your own rules when you prioritize yourself and your needs. You’ll also obtain a desire to be useful, to be not only a consumer, but also a contributor, the feeling which, in turn, leads to a feeling of self-realization and please.
And often miracles happen in this new life because you arrange them yourself by ceasing to wait for them to happen on their own.
This is an exciting adventure that you don’t want to change for a way of living which is safe and predicted, but filled with doubts and misunderstanding of yourself. We are born to grow and develop, and in a security and a comfort zone, growth is impossible.
If today you feel lost, close your eyes and step into a new life. Let it be scary. Or stay in the current state. But remember this will be your own choice that some time you should be responsible for. In front of yourself.